The Zombie Night Before Christmas

Night Before Christmas

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas and all of the Christmas traditions, but once in a while I like to have some fun with it and scary it up. Check out what I did with the traditional Christmas story The Night Before Christmas.

The Zombie Night Before Christmas

 
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse;

 
The mouse came from a medical research lab test,
But didn’t completely die like the rest;

 
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While nightmares of spiders danced in their heads;

 
And mamma in the kitchen had spotted the mouse,
Whacked it with a hammer and got blood in her mouth;

 
Inside her body there arose such a clatter,
As the virus mutated to make her mad as a hatter.

 
Away out the door she flew like a flash,
Ran down the street moaning, covered in a rash.

 
The moon shone on her as she ran down the lane
Seeking to quench her new hunger for brains.

 
When, what to her rotting eyes should appear,
But a group of carolers singing with cheer.

 
Their cheers turned to screams as she bit at their heads,
Soon the whole group was lying there dead.

 
But that didn’t last long as they rose to their feet,
They now also wanted some brains they could eat.

 
From door to door and throughout the night,
Zombies ruled the town and everything in sight.

 
The army was called in with big guns and tanks,
They surrounded the town and protected their flanks.

 
But a little old lady, now undead and quick,
Bit the arm of a soldier, and made him get sick.

 
The soldier was taken to HQ to be checked,
And soon the army base was totally wrecked.

 
The army, the guard, and the mighty marines,
All failed to stop the bloodthirsty fiends.

 
I wanted to run, and was turning around,
Then down from the sky St. Nicholas came with a bound.

 
He was dressed all in kevlar, from his left to his right,
He knew how to protect himself from zombies that bite;

 
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an action hero ready to attack.

 
His eyes — how they twinkled as he fired his guns,
His cheeks were like roses, his aim second to none!

 
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the blood of the zombies covered the snow;

 
The pins of grenades he pulled with his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

 
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
And his axe cut through zombies like jelly.

 
He cut off their heads, to kill them for good,
Saving the world as only few could;

 
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

 
He spoke not a word, but finished his work,
And burned all the bodies; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up from the rubble he rose;

 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Those damn zombies really ruined my night.”

By: Scary Jane (with a little help from the classic story)

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10 Responses to “The Zombie Night Before Christmas”

  1. Susan Says:

    THANK you!!!!!!

  2. Shannon Says:

    I love it!!!! That was so good. Did you actually make that yourself cus whoever made it is like totally awsome!!!!!!!

  3. jane Says:

    Yes, I did! I do have to admit to a tiny bit of help from Scary Hubby though. Glad you liked it!

  4. Sarah Says:

    This is amazing!

    My husband and I are going to participate in a Secret Santa with a group of friends and (if we draw the right couple), were wanting to create a Zombie Night before Christmas book.

    Could we use your poem? My husband is a tattoo artist and was going to draw out all the scenes in Photoshop and email them a few pages a week, then make a Shutterfly book as their final gift. We could print you a copy as well, and mail it to you.

    Please let me know what you think! We won’t use it if you’d rather we didn’t.

  5. jane Says:

    So glad that you liked it! I would absolutely LOVE it and be honored if you guys did that!! I would definitely want a copy and would want to post it on the site if you let me. Please let me know if you need anything from me and keep me posted.

  6. Sarah Says:

    Awesome! Todd’s going to get started on it as soon as possible, and will hopefully stay on focus with this project and actually get it finished in time for Christmas! I’ll keep you posted. 🙂

  7. the person in the night who stears at you Says:

    IT’s thrilling

  8. the person in the night who stears at you Says:

    I was hopeing you could listen to my story
    I think i could make one with much more goury

    with blood and dread
    like the story you just threw threw my head

    my name is the person in the night who stears at you
    and i was hopeing to become friends with well… you.

  9. Dillan Says:

    Epic!

  10. mary squires Says:

    that was amazing!

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