I come from a long line of game lovers. I grew up playing games with my family and friends and still do. We host game nights with our friends and every Sunday afternoon is game time in our house. One that we play regularly is the award winning game Fluxx. It’s a fun card game that’s easy to play anywhere since there is no board or money involved. I recently found out that there is a Zombie Fluxx version. How cool is that? I can’t believe we’ve been playing all this time and never knew. I have yet to get it, but I’m very curious about it and how the zombie theme changes the game. I would try to explain the game to you, but the goal and the rules of the game changes all the time and it’s one of those games you just have to jump in and play. From what I can understand there are weapons to kill the zombies with and your friends can become zombies. If anyone out there has played it email me or comment on this post and let me know what you think and if it’s worth getting.

Once again it’s T-Shirt Tuesday and I was looking around for the perfect t-shirt. I happened on this one from Hot Topic, which usually comes through in a pinch. Do you love Shakespeare? Do you love zombies? Well, now you have a perfect way to marry your two loves with the Zombie Shakespeare T-Shirt. On the bottom of the shirt is an updated quote from Hamlet: “Alas poor Yorick. I ate his brains.” That just cracked me up, but it got me thinking. It’s about time they did this to Shakespeare. I mean I actually can’t believe it took them this long. I’m not particularly a fan, but I don’t hate him either. Some of his stuff has become so corny with time that it just begs to be made fun of. Now I just have to wait for the Zombie Shakespeare movie to come out.

In honor of Valentine’s Day I set out to find a scary Valentines Day t-shirt. Not an easy task. For some reason people do not mix love with scary. Apparently people in love can’t have a sense of humor about it. Thank goodness in my house this is not the case. I did find a Zombies Need Love Too T-shirt which will fit the bill. There are quite a few different versions online, none of which got me all that excited, but this one isn’t too bad. When I first read the title I pictured a zombie chasing down a girl or something, but none of the ones I found were anything like that. Doesn’t make the sentiment any less valid, though. Everyone needs love, even zombies.

So you’ve been bitten by a zombie? Bummer. What do you do now? Well, you go out and buy this Zombies for Zombies book immediately. This book will tell you there is no need to panic. Yes, your life is undergoing a major change, but it doesn’t mean you can’t adapt to your new life with style. It’ll tell you how to dress for your new lifestyle, fitness ideas, how to overcome the zombie stigma, dance steps, delicious brain recipes and the all important skin-care techniques to ward off “rotting flesh syndrome”. It even covers the Koma Sutra for those of you that aren’t ready to give up on sex just because you’re a zombie. It’s basically advice and etiquette for the modern zombie and a book you can’t be without. Makes a perfect gift for that special someone that has just been bitten and looking to you, a seasoned zombie, for advice.

Here’s a t-shirt that made me laugh as soon as I laid eyes on it. This is the Scary Smurf t-shirt. What is he? A mummy? A zombie? I’ll go for the zombie. Now, I was never a fan of the Smurfs. Even though blue is my favorite color the Smurfs were just too cutesy for me. This t-shirt puts the the edge in Smurf Village that it needed. Just imagine this Zombie Smurf going through Smurf Village eating all of the irritatingly sweet Smurfs. Now that’s a show I could get into.

Over the weekend Scary Hubby and I went to an art show in Denver of his childhood friend Karl Christian Krumpholz. He is primarily the writer/artist of such comics as Angst Boy Comics, Sturm und Drang, Schadenfreude and Byron. He also does pen and ink artwork that is absolutely amazing. Karl has a collection of famous people that he has brilliantly zombiefied such as Frank Sinatra and Humphrey Bogart shown below. We are actually going to purchase one of his other art pieces that was originally created as one of the Byron covers that we fell in love with. He is an extremely talented artist that deserves your attention.

I know I claim to love all things scary and I do, but I draw the line at clowns. Clowns scare the crap out of me and not just because of a movie called It. It seems I may have been born with this fear. I’m not sure how it started. It might be the fact that when I was little Scary Jane there was a small clown painting in my room that was supposed to be cute. I remember laying in bed staring at it and trying to go to sleep. I probably had bad dreams about it. I finally made my Mom take it down. That coupled with the numerous movies and TV shows that featured a killer clown made me what I am today. A quivering idiot at the sight of any clown. Actually the ones that are not meant to be scary are the ones that scare me the most. Those painted smiles cover up the fact that they aren’t really smiling. The Ventriloquist Clown Doll scares me the most. Makes me think of that old movie Magic with Anthony Hopkins. You know the one where the ventriloquist dummy takes control and murders people. So, take a murderous dummy and then make him a clown and you have the one thing that will make me run down the middle of the street screaming in terror. If anyone was thinking of getting me that for Christmas can I please get a cute zombie doll instead?

For those of you that can’t get your crap together and get all of your shopping done in a reasonable amount of time here’s a great last minute stocking stuffer. Hollywood Zombie Trading Cards brought to you by Topps. Now this is a card series to die for! Ha! Pun intended. This set of cards features 72 celebrity parody cards just like the old Wacky cards that I covered a few months ago here. Each card has a zombified parody of a celebrity with a story ripped from the gossip headlines. Every fourth pack also includes one of ten Glow-In-The-Dark Morbid Mug Shot so you can collect them all. With names like Paris Hellton, Britney Speared and Tom Ooze you know these cards are perfect for the wickedly minded people out there such as myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas and all of the Christmas traditions, but once in a while I like to have some fun with it and scary it up. Check out what I did with the traditional Christmas story The Night Before Christmas.

The Zombie Night Before Christmas

 
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse;

 
The mouse came from a medical research lab test,
But didn’t completely die like the rest;

 
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While nightmares of spiders danced in their heads;

 
And mamma in the kitchen had spotted the mouse,
Whacked it with a hammer and got blood in her mouth;

 
Inside her body there arose such a clatter,
As the virus mutated to make her mad as a hatter.

 
Away out the door she flew like a flash,
Ran down the street moaning, covered in a rash.

 
The moon shone on her as she ran down the lane
Seeking to quench her new hunger for brains.

 
When, what to her rotting eyes should appear,
But a group of carolers singing with cheer.

 
Their cheers turned to screams as she bit at their heads,
Soon the whole group was lying there dead.

 
But that didn’t last long as they rose to their feet,
They now also wanted some brains they could eat.

 
From door to door and throughout the night,
Zombies ruled the town and everything in sight.

 
The army was called in with big guns and tanks,
They surrounded the town and protected their flanks.

 
But a little old lady, now undead and quick,
Bit the arm of a soldier, and made him get sick.

 
The soldier was taken to HQ to be checked,
And soon the army base was totally wrecked.

 
The army, the guard, and the mighty marines,
All failed to stop the bloodthirsty fiends.

 
I wanted to run, and was turning around,
Then down from the sky St. Nicholas came with a bound.

 
He was dressed all in kevlar, from his left to his right,
He knew how to protect himself from zombies that bite;

 
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an action hero ready to attack.

 
His eyes — how they twinkled as he fired his guns,
His cheeks were like roses, his aim second to none!

 
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the blood of the zombies covered the snow;

 
The pins of grenades he pulled with his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

 
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
And his axe cut through zombies like jelly.

 
He cut off their heads, to kill them for good,
Saving the world as only few could;

 
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

 
He spoke not a word, but finished his work,
And burned all the bodies; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up from the rubble he rose;

 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Those damn zombies really ruined my night.”

By: Scary Jane (with a little help from the classic story)

Nothing warms my heart more than the jolly old man in the red suit except maybe a zombie. Especially if he’s eating Santa’s brain. Don’t you just want to piss off some way too happy holiday shopper with this t-shirt? What about that crazy woman that grabbed the last Honey Glazed Ham at the grocery store? Or that crazy jerk that covered his house in lights and blacked out the whole neighborhood? Come on! Help me spread the Chistmas dread and wear your Sorry, Virginia – Zombies ate Santa’s brain t-shirt. You know you want to.