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table — jane @ 8:57 pm
I am not normally a fan of glass tables. I find them to be too contemporary for my taste and a pain in the ass to clean. Once in a while though, I find a table like this Spider Table that changes my mind and makes me rethink my personal style. I think this table is deliciously creepy. I’ve been obsessed with spiders lately, so I keep searching them out online. I think this might just creep me out too much to have it in my house, but it’s still totally cool. I think it would make me have nightmares about giant spiders chasing me like in those old movies. This particular table was designed by Judy Kensley McKie and is made from steel and glass. Unfortunately it is a one of kind, so don’t get too attached.
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velvet — jane @ 7:01 pm
I, like many women, love hats. I obsessively buy them thinking I will look fabulous in them and then often times don’t have a place to wear them. The fancier the better. Let’s face it though. How many places can you wear an elaborate hat to? I have now found this fantastically creepy Spider Hat that I just have to buy. Unfortunately it’s $145, so it will take a little convincing to get Scary Hubby to agree that I need it. Luckily he loves when I wear a hat, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Plus, all of my hats look really good displayed in our house. So if I never find a day to wear it besides Halloween I can say it’s just part of the house decor.
Yuck! Too scary for me. Don’t know if this is real, but here it is anyway. Can you imagine standing behind her in line? It looks so real, that I’m sure someone falls for it and tells her she has a spider on her neck. I must admit though that it is very well done.
*Thanks Lisa for the photo and thanks for the creepy crawlies that I now have!
Here’s the scary product of the week. This Spider Mouse would probably be too scary for me to use. I would be terrified that the thing would come back to life and escape. I’m assuming they are dead, but I can’t read Japanese so who knows. Can you imagine your co-workers seeing that on your desk? You can also get it with some other bugs, but I think the spider is the scariest. The spiders or insects are sealed inside a pocket of clear gel to preserve them and then some internal LED lights to light them up and make them even more scary. They apparently sell for only 1,480 yen which is about $15. Pretty cheap, but I’m sure shipping from Japan would be pretty high. In case you are reading this Scary Hubby I DO NOT want one of these for my birthday.
For your creepy enjoyment (or not) I present you with this yucky spider tattoo. It looks a little fake to me. It’s just a little too perfect. I can’t seem to find the origin of this picture, so I just have to assume that it’s real. Either way… ICK!!
I know it’s a little early for most people to be thinking about Halloween, but not me. Every year we try to outdo ourselves and everyone else on the block. The only way to do that is to have your eyes open all year round. I have been buying remote controlled spiders for years and have never found one that really works well or is all that realistic. A while back I ordered one from the UK and it finally arrived. Unfortunately I could not seem to find this guy here in the US, so I had to wait. This Radio Controlled Spider is far and away much better than all the ones I’ve seen. I got the Black Widow, but it is also available in a Tarantula, but I’m not sure you can get that one anymore. You’d have to look around. It was designed by the Natural History Museum as an educational toy. Yeah, right. Maybe an education in how to scare people out of their minds. Anyway, he measures quite big at approx. 12″ wide and 10″ long and runs on 6 AA batteries and 1 9V battery. Like other radio controlled spiders you can hear a little motor, but the plus with this one is the look and movements which are far superior to any I’ve seen before. I can’t wait to try it out on Scary Hubby, though he’s used to my attempts to scare him, so I don’t know how well that will work.
I may be scary minded, but I’m not crazy! I hate spiders! Hate, hate, hate them!! Do you get my point? If not, here’s some more. They are creepy, crawly, hairy, sneaky, gross little creatures. Now do you get it? This Hairy Scary Spider T-shirt brings out my worst fear. I actually turn into a screaming girly girl when I see one. Seriously, I don’t like to kill them. They are living creatures, but there are times when it is unavoidable. Like when I’m jumping up and down screaming in terror in the bathroom and I happen to land on one. This actually happened to me once, so that’s the reason for the disclaimer. Anyway, I try to catch them and lead them outside, but usually I make Scary Hubby do it. I live in fear of being too close to one. As a child I lived in Texas for a few years where they have lots and lots of them. The tarantulas there would jump up at you. I don’t know if all tarantulas do that, but they do in Texas. Nice state, but if you don’t like creepy crawlers stay away. That’s all I’m going to say.
The victorians really knew how to design things. They really had a taste for the gothic. I have often thought that I was born during the wrong time, but then I think of not having movies/TV, indoor plumbing and many other every day conveniences and I rethink that. Anyway, I really like the style from that period. I don’t like plain things. I like things with character like little hidden faces carved into the arm of a chair. Those little things make me happy just like this Spiderweb necklace and earrings make me happy. Can’t you just picture yourself (or the woman in your life) in a long black velvet dress with this beautiful choker around her neck? Pale pasty white skin is a must to pull it off of course.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas and all of the Christmas traditions, but once in a while I like to have some fun with it and scary it up. Check out what I did with the traditional Christmas story The Night Before Christmas.
The Zombie Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse;
The mouse came from a medical research lab test,
But didn’t completely die like the rest;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While nightmares of spiders danced in their heads;
And mamma in the kitchen had spotted the mouse,
Whacked it with a hammer and got blood in her mouth;
Inside her body there arose such a clatter,
As the virus mutated to make her mad as a hatter.
Away out the door she flew like a flash,
Ran down the street moaning, covered in a rash.
The moon shone on her as she ran down the lane
Seeking to quench her new hunger for brains.
When, what to her rotting eyes should appear,
But a group of carolers singing with cheer.
Their cheers turned to screams as she bit at their heads,
Soon the whole group was lying there dead.
But that didn’t last long as they rose to their feet,
They now also wanted some brains they could eat.
From door to door and throughout the night,
Zombies ruled the town and everything in sight.
The army was called in with big guns and tanks,
They surrounded the town and protected their flanks.
But a little old lady, now undead and quick,
Bit the arm of a soldier, and made him get sick.
The soldier was taken to HQ to be checked,
And soon the army base was totally wrecked.
The army, the guard, and the mighty marines,
All failed to stop the bloodthirsty fiends.
I wanted to run, and was turning around,
Then down from the sky St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in kevlar, from his left to his right,
He knew how to protect himself from zombies that bite;
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an action hero ready to attack.
His eyes — how they twinkled as he fired his guns,
His cheeks were like roses, his aim second to none!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the blood of the zombies covered the snow;
The pins of grenades he pulled with his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
And his axe cut through zombies like jelly.
He cut off their heads, to kill them for good,
Saving the world as only few could;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but finished his work,
And burned all the bodies; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up from the rubble he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Those damn zombies really ruined my night.”
By: Scary Jane (with a little help from the classic story)
I found one of the most unusual items today that I just couldn’t wait to share with you. It’s an Authentic Cobweb put under glass. Apparently someone finds and carefully removes them. Each one is unique and is documented as to the type of spider that created it and when and where it was found. It’s then put on black felt and a slightly domed glass is put over it to be preserved forever. Of course as usual it is only sold during the Halloween season, but they still have some left and they have also lowered the price to $79.99. Pretty steep, I know, but really incredible when you think about it. I mean you know when you buy it that it’s one of a kind. I wonder what you do with it though. Is there a way to hang it up or do you just put it on a table? It’s not that big at 7″, so I guess you could find a spot for it. I just feel kind of bad for the spider who went to all of that trouble to build his perfect home and then have it taken away.
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