Well, after spending the last month searching for the best Halloween decorations, recipes, costumes, decorating my new house and watching movies here are my thoughts. LAME! Okay not totally lame, but not as good as in years past. My biggest gripe was Halloween decor or the lack there of. Every Halloween I have spent hundreds of dollars on new decorations for the store and for the house that I could not live without. This year I spent $19.00 and that was just for spiderwebs, candles and misc. crap. WTF?! My thoughts are that with the bad economy they just didn’t really come out with anything new and scaled back on some of the more pricey items. My favorite has always been animatronics. I love things that move and say things. The ones they had this year were cheap looking and weren’t all that scary frankly.  Costumes were pretty lame as well. I wanted to post the scariest costume of the year, but I really didn’t see anything that was worth even a wimper. Some of the bad costumes that were popular, like Micheal Jackson and Octomom, were just in bad taste and stupid. Decorating our new house was great and everything worked better than we had hoped. We even got voted as the scariest house in the neighborhood, but there were a few that were really close. We’ll have to step it up a bit next year. Movie selection in the theaters was not even worth discussing, though rarely is it. All I can say is I really hope next year the economy is back on track and decorations are plentiful. This is my favorite time of the year and I found it depressing to go into stores that normally have huge Halloween displays and only had pitifully small racks of cheesy decor. Just my two cents.

It seems the popular Halloween T-shirt this year is the ones claiming the person wearing it cannot afford a costume. Considering that the three examples below cost more than $20 I think it’s crap. Obviously it is another case of a lazy persons costume. I say all of you people throwing Halloween parties this year deny letting anyone wearing these stupid costumes in to your party. We must unite against brainless pseudo costumes. If any trick or treating kid dares show up at our door with one of these on will get the door slammed in their faces! Just my 2 cents.

Since I saw Zombieland a few weeks ago I’ve been obsessed with all things zombie. I wish I had planned to have a Halloween party this year, but it becomes bigger and bigger and therefore more involved every year. Every other year is my limit. If I’m still into Zombies next year I might make it a zombie party. How cool would that be? It would be even better if it was warm enough to do it in your yard. I could just imagine driving by someone’s house with a whole bunch of zombies walking around in the yard and spilling into the street. Every Halloween there are quite a few cities that do a zombie crawl. If you haven’t been to one they are lots of fun. Usually it’s just everyone showing up on some city street dressed as a zombie and walking around for a few hours. People get very creative. That idea got me looking around at zombie costumes. Probably the best ones would be homemade, but I did find a couple of good ones. A good portion of them are quite lame, though. My one problem with most of the costumes is that they include a mask. I hate masks! I never where them. They look great, but they are so hot and sweaty. No one can ever understand what you are saying and you can’t hear anything. I’m not a huge fan of wearing lots of makeup, but it’s still better in my opinion.

What is with all of the shit costumes? Is this new or did I miss it when they came out? Who in the world wants to be shit for Halloween? There’s Holy Shit, Bull Shit, No Shit, Crock of Shit, Chicken Shit, Tough Shit and Poo Poo Platter. There may be others, but that’s all I found and frankly that’s more than enough. First off I find it really strange that some of these were sold out on a couple of the sites I went to. Is there really that big of a demand to be shit? Don’t get me wrong I’d laugh if I saw someone dressed as some sort of shit at a party. That’s not my point. Who is the person that actually wants to be the shit. It’s like the classic horse costume where someone has to play the back end. Nobody ever wants to wear that part of the costume. To me this seems like the costume that would be the last one at the costume shop. The one that would go on clearance on Halloween. I’ve seen some degrading costumes in my time, but this is the shittiest costume I’ve ever seen.

As I have said I feel scary costumes are the best for Halloween. I do enjoy the occasional funny costume if it’s clever. This Caught in the Rain costume made me laugh out loud. In my book that means it passes the test. I would really like to see if it’s as funny in person, though. For some reason I am reminded of the costume that Daniel-Sahn wore in The Karate Kid. You remember that right? The Polkadot Shower? I loved that costume. It’s perfect for the shy person. I would imagine though that it would be kind of hard to get around in it. If I remember correctly Daniel-Sahn had a hard time going through doorways. That does bring up a good point though. Make sure you can get around in your costume easily. I’m sure a lot of you remember Donna’s mermaid costume in 90210. Nobody wants to spend their whole night not being able to move.

When I go to a Halloween party I like to see scary costumes. I always dress in scary costumes myself, ever since I was a small child. I do remember being about 5 years old and dressing up as a doll, but I’m sure that was my Mother’s choice. Another time my sister and I dressed as Indians. That was also my  Mother’s choice. Other than that I have always preferred scary costumes. Once in a while though I do really enjoy seeing someone dressed in a funny costume. Preferably one that has a sense of humor or is clever. I don’t enjoy seeing costumes like a princess or an M&M. It’s Halloween for Pete’s sake! Halloween is scary. It’s better than not dressing up at all though. This One Night Stand costume made me laugh out loud when I first saw it, so it makes my funniest costume list this year.

Please don’t be a loser. Wear a freakin’ costume, damn it! I’ll kick your ass to the curb if you don’t.

Even though it is the month of October it doesn’t mean I’m not going to do T-Shirt Tuesday, so here it is. As I have stated before Halloween is very important to me. I love everything about it. Once I figure out what I want to be for Halloween, I spend a ridiculous amount of time on it. The costumes become very involved and ornate. Sometimes costing way too much money, but I can’t control it. When I have a picture in my mind I will go to the ends of the earth to make it happen. Every year I have multiple parties to go to. People know I love it and will go all out. I think that might be why I get invited. It can’t be because of my sparkling wit. At every Halloween party there is always that one guy that comes in a t-shirt and jeans and declares he’s homeless or something. I realize that not everyone has the time or energy that I put into a costume, but come on. There are great t-shirts out there like the Ghostbusters Venkman T-shirt below left that take no effort at all. Even the stupid one below right shows you’re kind of into it. Make an effort when you get invited to a Halloween party. Even if it is just a t-shirt costume. Otherwise you may just be sitting at home drinking yourself into a stupor while you moan that you never get invited to parties and have no friends. I know I wouldn’t invite you.

As ususal I haven’t decided what to be for Halloween yet. It’s always a big ordeal for me because I want something scary, but not particularly gross. Many years ago when the show Roseanne was still on TV they did Halloween specials every year. Did you know that you can get the seven best of the Halloween specials on DVD? Anyway, I was always a huge fan of them and still watch them every October. In 1992 they did an episode about how Roseanne couldn’t get into the spirit of Halloween. The whole family continually tried to play jokes on her to no avail. Roseanne is then visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present and future and finally realizes how much she is needed on Halloween. The episode culminates in her showing up at the annual Halloween party dressed as the statue of liberty and setting off the fire sprinklers. Well, in this episode Darlene appears in one of my favorite costumes ever dressed as Tippi Hedren’s character from The Birds. For years I have wanted to recreate that costume, but never had the time. Now I can just buy it! I would have to add a pecked out eye or something, though. Maybe that’s what I’ll be for Halloween this year…