Since it was cold and snowy here over the weekend Scary Hubby and I decided to see some of the movies that we hadn’t seen in the theater. We are huge movie fans in this house, but with a 7 year old you end up not seeing a lot of the scarier ones until they are released on DVD/satellite. This time we saw “The Uninvited“, “The Haunting of Molly somebody or other” and “Lady in White“. I realize the last one is from 1988, but I had never seen it for some reason. All of these were scary, but not particularly bloody, which I like. More mystery than horror, I would almost say. Anyway, I’ll start with “Lady in White“. It was okay, but quite cheesy. It honestly felt more like a made for TV movie. The acting was decent and the story was interesting, but the music and special effects, even for 1988, were not good. I’m still rather confused as to why they called it “Lady in White” when she was hardly in the movie. I guess it’s a scary title. Doesn’t every town have some legend about a lady or woman in white? On to “The Haunting of Molly…“. Not worth it to look it up to get the correct name. It’s about a girl that’s about to turn 18 and finds out about her devilish future. The movie had me interested in the beginning, but I soon realized where this was going and that there was no way out for her. It was okay, but predictable in my opinion. Glad I didn’t spend the money to see it. Finally, there’s “The Uninvited“. This was definitely the better of the three. We were prepared for it not to be good, though. I’d heard that it was a remake of a Korean movie called “A Tale of Two Sisters” and that it did not live up to that movie’s supposed brilliance. Since we had not seen that movie though, we had nothing to base the story on and just went with it. We both enjoyed it very much! It started out as pretty run of the mill and I have to confess I was playing on my laptop in the beginning with only one eye on the movie. It wasn’t long before the movie had my full attention. It ended up being one of those movies that you go back and re-watch a few scenes to put it all together. I also noticed that we have continued to discuss it even though we saw it back on Saturday night. That’s always a good sign for me. A lot of the reviews mentioned big holes in the story, but if you pay attention that really is not the case. It was, by no means, the best thriller I had ever seen, but it was definitely worth watching. Basically it’s about a girl that tried to commit suicide after her ill mother was killed in a fire and now comes back to live with her family and her Father’s new fiance, who was also her Mother’s nurse. Give it a chance, if you really pay attention you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Oh, how I appreciate a macabre sense of humor. So many people out there are so uptight. In the world we live in today you really have to stop once in awhile and smell the dead roses or just get a good laugh. I’m sure I will be bombarded again with emails after people read this post, so let me just say now I am not a serial killer or psychotic. I enjoy life as much as I can and have a great sense of humor considering the things that are going on around us. All that being said, I found this great Slit Throat Choker on Etsy! The artist’s name is Tiana Rutledge and she creates this choker and many other things including Slit Wrist bracelets and Blood Drop earrings. She also makes this fantastic Black Rose ring. I just love her stuff. They are all hand sculpted from flexible polymer clay and very reasonably priced. You can get the entire Bloody Mess set for just $28. Great for Halloween obviously, but I plan on wearing mine year round. I can’t wait until I can wear it to pick up my daughter from school. Those uptight private school moms won’t know what hit them. Shocking them always makes my day.

OMG! OMG! OMG! I’m so excited! Okay so not only is Burn Notice with Bruce Campbell starting up again tonight, but I just got the most awesome news. If you are as much of a Bruce Campbell fan as I am you will be thrilled. If not, well frankly your an idiot and should not be reading this, so go away. A few months ago I blogged about the My Name Is Bruce movie. As usual it was hilarious and Bruce Campbell was brilliant. Well, Mr. Campbell just announced a sequel to that movie called Bruce vs. Frankenstein which will begin shooting in the fall. Here, you can read it for yourself:

“Hello everyone. Bruce Campbell here. This urgent message is short, because my keystrokes are monitored and I fear for my life. My partner at Dark Horse comics, Mike Richardson (normally a very rational and talented man), threatened to have his foot soldiers “crush my spleen” if I did what I am about to do. But the fans deserve to know, so with great trepidation I officially announce Bruce Vs. Frankenstein, the sequel to My Name is Bruce. Principal photography begins this fall in Oregon. I’d like to live long enough to see the cameras roll, so please, for the love of God, do not tell anyone – I can’t risk this announcement getting back to Mike! Thank you.”

Mike Richardson’s response to this hilarious letter:

“As a result of this leak, Mike Richardson has Bruce bound and gagged in a secret room of which only he knows the location. We did learn that Mark Verhedien will return to write it and Ted Raimi will play a KEY role in the film. Richardson says he will release Campbell sometime in the near future when “Bruce learns to keep his big mouth shut.”

I am beyond excited and even more so knowing that Ted Raimi will be in it again as well. Hail to the king, baby.

*Thanks Angelia for the heads up! You made my day.

Here it is T-shirt Tuesday again. I have a great little t-shirt for you today. It’s called the Little Scary Doll and I think that’s the perfect name. She’s actually adorable, but very sinister looking. She has an Asian feel to her that I really like. Kind of scary anime which is different. Actually she looks like an anime vampire! It might look strange for a guy to wear, but us girls will find it totally adorable and creepy. The nice thing about this shirt is you can pick from a huge range of t-shirt colors to put her on. I love when they do that. I tend to want everything in black, but I think for her it might have to be a different color.

Wrapping presents is one of my all time favorite things to do. I have a room in my new house that is dedicated to just that. That was one of the things I said to Scary Hubby that I had to have in our new house. He knows about my obsession, though he does not share it or understand it. I have a hard time during this time of year because there is wrapping paper and bows in all the stores and I just can’t resist buying it. I’m always on the lookout for unusual or even scary ones to add to my ever growing collection. Today I came across these two lovely ones. I’ve seen bone wrapping paper before, but this one is really nice. I especially fell in love with the blood splatter wrapping paper. I wonder what my family would think if I wrapped all of their Christmas presents in it. Ah! They’d probably just shake their heads and say, “Typical Jane, always trying to shock us.” They’re all pretty used to me by now. I think I’ll do it anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas and all of the Christmas traditions, but once in a while I like to have some fun with it and scary it up. Check out what I did with the traditional Christmas story The Night Before Christmas.

The Zombie Night Before Christmas

 
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse;

 
The mouse came from a medical research lab test,
But didn’t completely die like the rest;

 
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While nightmares of spiders danced in their heads;

 
And mamma in the kitchen had spotted the mouse,
Whacked it with a hammer and got blood in her mouth;

 
Inside her body there arose such a clatter,
As the virus mutated to make her mad as a hatter.

 
Away out the door she flew like a flash,
Ran down the street moaning, covered in a rash.

 
The moon shone on her as she ran down the lane
Seeking to quench her new hunger for brains.

 
When, what to her rotting eyes should appear,
But a group of carolers singing with cheer.

 
Their cheers turned to screams as she bit at their heads,
Soon the whole group was lying there dead.

 
But that didn’t last long as they rose to their feet,
They now also wanted some brains they could eat.

 
From door to door and throughout the night,
Zombies ruled the town and everything in sight.

 
The army was called in with big guns and tanks,
They surrounded the town and protected their flanks.

 
But a little old lady, now undead and quick,
Bit the arm of a soldier, and made him get sick.

 
The soldier was taken to HQ to be checked,
And soon the army base was totally wrecked.

 
The army, the guard, and the mighty marines,
All failed to stop the bloodthirsty fiends.

 
I wanted to run, and was turning around,
Then down from the sky St. Nicholas came with a bound.

 
He was dressed all in kevlar, from his left to his right,
He knew how to protect himself from zombies that bite;

 
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an action hero ready to attack.

 
His eyes — how they twinkled as he fired his guns,
His cheeks were like roses, his aim second to none!

 
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the blood of the zombies covered the snow;

 
The pins of grenades he pulled with his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

 
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
And his axe cut through zombies like jelly.

 
He cut off their heads, to kill them for good,
Saving the world as only few could;

 
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

 
He spoke not a word, but finished his work,
And burned all the bodies; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up from the rubble he rose;

 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Those damn zombies really ruined my night.”

By: Scary Jane (with a little help from the classic story)

Nothing warms my heart more than the jolly old man in the red suit except maybe a zombie. Especially if he’s eating Santa’s brain. Don’t you just want to piss off some way too happy holiday shopper with this t-shirt? What about that crazy woman that grabbed the last Honey Glazed Ham at the grocery store? Or that crazy jerk that covered his house in lights and blacked out the whole neighborhood? Come on! Help me spread the Chistmas dread and wear your Sorry, Virginia – Zombies ate Santa’s brain t-shirt. You know you want to.

Are you tired of vampires? Are you sick of hearing about the Twilight stars? Well, I am! So hears more. Actually this one is more interesting. My Mother-in-Law of all people alerted me to this. Just shows how cool she is. Anyway, it’s an iPhone app called Vampire Transformer that was created by Peter Facinelli (Dr. Carlisle Cullen from Twilight) and the 211me.com team. It allows you to transform a photo of someone into a vampire. You can blend your photo with one of over 30 vampires to create your own personal vampire. Then you can send your creations to Twitter, Facebook, and their online Vampire Gallery. It’s all done with layers, so the more layers you use the grosser you get. You do have to have an iPhone to get the app. I downloaded it earlier and I’ve been having a blast with it. Try doing it to pictures of your pets or babies. That’s when it gets really twisted.

Are you into headbanger music? Are you a fan of the Headbanger’s Ball on MTV? Well, I’m not, but at one time when the original Headbanger’s Ball was on MTV I was. Now you can have computer speakers that will take your headbanging to a whole new level. These Skull Computer Speakers look like they have been headbanging a few too many times actually. Maybe you should give them a break, let them rest and only play Barry Manilow on them. Or maybe you should let your true nature show and put these two little guys in your cubicle at work. Be proud of your headbanging ways and wear your concert tees with pride in the office. No one will ever mistake you for that preppy prick in accounting again.

As usual I am always looking out for ways to freak out neighbors. Of course it’s always fun to do it at Halloween, but that’s expected. I like to do it at different times and in unexpected ways. I found these severed fingers and immediately started thinking about Halloween. Moments later my brain started going beyond Halloween and came up with some great ideas. I love to decorate for Christmas. I know, sounds strange right? Actually not strange if you think of all of the fun things you can scatter around mixed in with your plastic Santas and elves. People get very freaked out when you mess with Christmas. I love it as much as the next person, but that doesn’t mean I have no sense of humor. Try sticking these severed fingers on your Christmas tree, so it looks like someone is clawing their way out. How about putting them in the hay in your nativity scene on the front lawn. Better yet! Stick them in the turkey before you bring it to the table. Maybe not…might be a little too freaky for some of the older folks. Point is…have some fun. You’d be amazed at what you could come up with to do with these fingers.