I know it’s already the middle of January, but I have another calendar for you that I just couldn’t not talk about. Someone sent me the link to this site where they feature a Coffin Calendar. I believe the calendar is actually called Sexy Coffins Calendar. This calendar is created by Cisa, a funeral home and coffin factory based in Rome, Italy. I suppose it is a way to advertise their…uh…services. On the page you can look through the pictures featured each month. As I was looking through it I noticed something. Well, first off I should point out that each calendar features one or more scantily clad goth girls posing around coffins. Some of them are pretty cool and some of them just T&A crap. On closer inspection, though, you will notice that in every single picture they are using the exact same coffin. Huh? First of all the Calendar is called “Sexy Coffins”. So apparently either they carry only one coffin that they believe to be sexy or it is just a sexy goth girl calendar in disguise. Secondly, I understand putting the scantily clad women around the coffin, but if you are trying to promote your business wouldn’t it make more sense to show a different coffin in each picture? You too can own this calendar for the small price of $16.95, but if you were looking for a brochure from the company look elsewhere.

*Thanks Angelia for the link

Now I don’t really like to sew, but this little Witch Boot Pincushion just might help me enjoy it more. I need something to help me enjoy it since I’m always having to fix some piece of clothing or another. I constantly put mending off until someone in my family finally starts yelling loud enough. Maybe they could fix their own clothes. Yeah! That might be asking a little too much from this lazy crowd I call a family. It doesn’t say what it’s made of, but it looks like the boot part is some kind of metal and it’s a good size at 11″ tall. Maybe if it’s heavy enough I can use it as a weapon against my family. Of course I would just use it to threaten, but they don’t know that. If it’s that time of the month anything could happen! As they know from past experience Scary Jane can go ape sh*t at the drop of a pin. However bad, pun was intended.

When that time comes for you to go into the abyss do you really want just a plain old coffin? No? Do you want to go out in style? Maybe in something that shows off your hobby? Well, the Ga coffin carpenters of Ghana have the coffin for you.

In traditional Ga culture you are buried in a coffin that reflects how you earned your living and lived your life. Why stop there? Let your imagination go crazy. You could be buried in beer bottle shaped coffin, a teddy bear, a Mercedes or even a airplane shaped coffin. A 6′ Ga coffin starts at about $1500, so it’s really not a bad deal for one made just for you. They take about 3 months to make depending on the difficulty of the design, but totally worth it. If you have your heart set on it though you might want to order it now and use it as a coffee table or something until you need it.

Wrapping presents is one of my all time favorite things to do. I have a room in my new house that is dedicated to just that. That was one of the things I said to Scary Hubby that I had to have in our new house. He knows about my obsession, though he does not share it or understand it. I have a hard time during this time of year because there is wrapping paper and bows in all the stores and I just can’t resist buying it. I’m always on the lookout for unusual or even scary ones to add to my ever growing collection. Today I came across these two lovely ones. I’ve seen bone wrapping paper before, but this one is really nice. I especially fell in love with the blood splatter wrapping paper. I wonder what my family would think if I wrapped all of their Christmas presents in it. Ah! They’d probably just shake their heads and say, “Typical Jane, always trying to shock us.” They’re all pretty used to me by now. I think I’ll do it anyway.

I’m not usually the tech geek in the family. I leave that stuff to Scary Hubby. Sometimes though I do come across things that melt our two loves together. This is a Skull USB Drive Necklace. This little guy is great. It’s a USB Flash Drive that holds 2GB of storage and a necklace! Two for the price of one. My big complaint about Flash Drives in general is that I am always losing them. They are so tiny. This one can just go around my neck and it looks just like a regular skull necklace. The little plug in thingy slides out, so there is no cover to lose, which is always a problem too. A lot of these cool little Flash Drives can be pretty pricey, but this one sells for only $22. Obviously at that price it’s not made out of platinum.  It may not be the nicest skull necklace you’ve ever owned, but it is cute and a great idea.

Okay I’m not sure how I feel about this. Wal-Mart now carries coffins and urns for all of your funeral needs. I mean I guess it’s okay, just weird. Now when you search on urns you get funeral urns mixed in with the coffee urns. Kinda creepy. When it comes time to bury Great Uncle Mort you can now go down to your neighborhood Wal-Mart and pick up your coffin. Well, actually you can’t. You can only order them online, but still the image is there. It makes me think of the Target lady on SNL. If you haven’t seen Kristen Wiig play her it’s really funny. The Target lady is a Target cashier who is very excitable and covets everything people are buying in a very shrill voice. She then frequently disappears during the transaction to get one of her own. What would she do if someone checked out with a coffin in their cart? Anyway, Wal-Mart is offering them for $895 to $2,899, so it’s pretty cheap compared to the thousands of dollars that coffins usually cost. Still weird, though. Coffin price check in aisle 9!

A while back I blogged about some wall mounted hand hooks. I found these Spooky Wall Hands the other day and they are far superior in my mind. Either ones are very creepy, but these are just a couple of steps up on the creepy scale. This reminds me of the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. If you remember when the kids and parents originally go into the factory they have to hang up their coats. When they go to hang them on the hooks the hand hooks grab them. I always thought that was so cool and I still desperately want them. This is the closest I’ve seen. Well, visually anyway. These look like they are ready to reach down and grab your coat. They come in a set of two hands for $29. One palm-up and one palm-down pose. Personally I’m going to cover my wall in them!

I saw this the other day and got extremely excited! Who knew there was a way to make even your trash scary? This is called the Bin Bag Bear which was designed by artist Shay Alkalay. Now I’m not sure that this was meant to be scary. Apparently it is supposed to look like a teddy bear. I choose to see something different. The first thing I thought of was how cool it would be to put one of these out on your curb the first time. Your garbage man might even do a double take. I know I would. Just think what stories the neighbors might start telling about you. Anything to further my reputation as the scary lady is fine by me. The only thing is I wish it came in a full human size. This way it looks like a small child, which even for me might just be too gruesome. I know. Surprisingly I do have my limits. I still want them though. Unfortunately I can not find them for sale anywhere.

When I first saw these knife hooks I thought of the circus. You know the guy throwing knives at the scantily clad woman? They could be so much fun. I can’t believe no one has created them before. Well, technically a company over in England did but they are not quite as creepy and seem more associated with kitchen utensils. They are designed by TC Studio and cost $25 each or you can get five for $100. Can you imagine the fun you can have with these hooks? First of all they don’t even need to be used as hooks. They can be used as art or to make a statement. Put up a picture of the person you dislike most on the wall and put a knife through it. You could even get a bunch of them and arrange the hooks like the outline of a person like the knife throwing guy. Everyone in the family would be able to reach their own hook that way. Even the dog would have a place for his stuff on the foot. You could also hang one next to the bloody shower curtain that I told you to buy earlier. Which you did, right? It would help explain the blood.

Have you always been jealous of Gomez & Morticia Addams? Ever wished you had Thing in your house? Now you can… well sort of anyway. These Hand Hooks by Harry Allen are made from a cast of the designer’s own hand. There are 5 different styles available. They don’t come cheap at $85.00 each, but wouldn’t it be cool to have one hanging on your wall the next time your back itches? Now, I know what you’re thinking, I can just get my spouse/partner to scratch my back when needed. Will they also stand still and hold your coat all day? What about your keys? I don’t think so. These are a much better solution. If you are still balking at the price there are cheaper ones available here. Not designed by Harry Allen, but just as creepy.