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zombies — jane @ 12:12 am
If you have been diligently reading my blog (you better be) you would know that I just love to piss off my neighbors. I know, not very neighborly, but oh so much fun. Besides, it seems like it has become sort of a running joke in the neighborhood. What will Jane do next? Most of them get a good laugh out of it since we do take good care of our yard, but there are a few that are not so thrilled. That’s mainly why I do it. If they laughed and enjoyed it I’d get bored.
Everyone has seen the pink yard flamingos and a few have even seen the skeleton flamingos, but now a couple of artists selling under the name Chris and Janes Place on Etsy have come up with their own twist. Zombie Gnomes feeding on one of those oh so tacky pink flamingos. They are hand casted, hand painted and sell for $55. They have been getting so many orders for these that they are a little behind in production, but so worth the wait. I am so excited to get mine. Now I just need to think of a great way to reveal it to the neighbors
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winter — jane @ 7:47 am
It may be a little early to start thinking about camping or even barbecuing for that matter, but a lot depends on what part of the world you live in. If you live in Australia, for example, then it’s the perfect time. In other words don’t judge me for today’s post. I have my reasons for posting what I do and as soon as I have figured out this one you’ll be the first to know. I’m a little bitchy today, so watch out! Anyway, I found this handy dandy little Cthulhu Weenie Roaster while I was searching for a gift for Scary Hubby over the holidays and I have been obsessed with it ever since. How can you not be? It’s a freakin weenie roaster in the shape of Cthulhu! To me it looks more like a skull with some freaky long teeth, but who cares? This is the perfect gift for that creepy guy in your life that has everything. And just think, whenever he’s cooking you a weenie it’ll be plumped and cooked to perfection. Now that’s how I like my weenie!
* See Wikipedia if you don’t know who or what a Cthulhu is.
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Trainspotting — jane @ 1:28 pm
Happy 2012 people! Let’s make it a happy and healthy year!
So, I thought it was appropriate to post a baby related item since babies are a symbol of the New Year. I ended up coming across this creepy sculpture called Big Baby. Brooklyn, NY artist Nina Levy was originally commissioned to create Big Baby for the Aldrich Museum of Contemporary Art in Ridgefield, CT in 2003. The museum was doing renovations and thought the baby would symbolize the museum’s “rebirth”. It ended up causing quite a bit of controversy and was vandalized. Now it sits in the de Cordova Sculpture Park and Museum in Lincoln, MA. The baby is 7′ tall and I find it to be more than just a little creepy. Could you imagine driving down the street and seeing that baby just sitting there on a bench? I would think the thing might have caused a few accidents while it sat in front of the museum. For some reason it made me think of that movie Trainspotting. Maybe just because that gravity defying baby creeped me out too.
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clothing,
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zombies — jane @ 5:22 pm
Found another great Do-It-Yourself Halloween project today called Climbing Skeletons. I’m finding so many cool ideas! I wish I had thought of this before. Maybe next year I’ll plan the whole month to be Do-It-Yourself projects. Especially if new and different decorations are hard to come by again. I wish there was a way for me to do all of the ideas I’ve found, but our yard is only so big. Also, I like to keep things in a general theme which this would not fit into. Anyway, this seems pretty straight forward to make. All you need is 2 or more cheap 5′ plastic skeletons that you can find almost anywhere this time of year. You’ll also need some picture hanging wire which you can find in any hardware store and a ladder. I think this looks pretty simple and could easily be done in one day as long as you already have your supplies. For the directions please click HERE. I know this may seem confusing to some of you simpletons, but those of you who have eaten enough brains will understand. I actually found two different sets of directions for making this, but this one seemed more logical than the one I found on Halloween Prop Master. That’s the one this one was modeled after. Plus I just love the creepy way they are climbing up the front of the house. You could even go more crazy with this and dress them up like zombies or monsters. Can you imagine Zombies crawling up your house to get in the windows? Yikes!
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tree,
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yard — jane @ 4:20 pm
Today I found an awesome new decoration for your front yard. They are Circling Ghosts that hang from a tree attached to a fan. I really want to do this one, but the trees in our front yard are not even close to big enough. I’m going to have to put Scary Hubby on it. He’s a technical genius. I know he’ll find a way to make it happen. I can just imagine how great they would be floating around our tombstones. If you want to make it just click HERE. It sounds pretty easy if you already have a big tree in your yard. The only thing would be if you don’t have an old ceiling fan lying around. I did see some really cheap ones (around $20) at Home Depot a while back. I bet if you look around or ask your friends you can probably find one. This guy bought the ghosts at KMart, but I would probably make these myself. I’ve made many ghosts over the years, so I think I can handle these. Do me a favor? If you are going to make this, make sure the ghosts are a realistic size. I hate mini ghosts and other crappy props like that. There is nothing scary about a teeny tiny 12″ ghost. Anyway, I’m so excited to do this one! I just hope we can figure it out in time for this year. Always looking for new ways to freak out the neighbors. Do you think they’d mind if I left them up all year?
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zombies — jane @ 4:46 pm
I so love this time of year and sometimes I feel like I’ve seen it all. I think all of the Halloween manufacturers are scared this year (pun intended). A few years ago it was so fun to go shopping for Halloween. Every year they seemed to come out with the coolest new props. I’m so glad I spent the money then because there is nothing but the same old crap out there this year. Seriously?!? Did they run out of ideas? Are they not producing as much because of the state of the economy? I was in Party City, Halloween City and Spirit Halloween yesterday and let me tell you, they are pretty much cleaned out. I was looking for something specific I had seen online but with no luck. I think this is the first time I have ever walked out of those stores with nothing in my hand. It got me to thinking about going more old school. You know, making all of the decorations yourself. Maybe in a year like this when there isn’t much to write about I can get inspiration from other people. I decided to go online and see what other people have created from basic stuff. I found this Grounded the Kids decor that is absolutely hilarious and a little creepy too. I just love the idea and what makes it a really great idea is that you can go simple like this or make them really scary. I found this on The Fun Times Guide. If you want to do it yourself click HERE for the directions.
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wreath — jane @ 11:20 pm
I happen to live in a neighborhood where everyone is very uptight, but think they’re cool. Those are the worst kind. My family stands out, needless to say, and I have no problem with that. At least we have a sense of humor and don’t call the police every time an African American chooses to walk down our street. Pretty much every house has some cutesy wreath on the door. You know the ones I’m talking about. There is the dried flower ones, plastic flower ones, the weird ones made out of different colored balls, the branch ones etc. I personally hate them and refuse to ever put one on my door. It’s so suburban and just drives me crazy. I have a black feather one that I put on my door once, but it was almost too pretty so I took it down. Today I ordered one that I might actually put on my door with pride. This Snake Wreath with the great Medusa vibe is meant as a Halloween decoration. I hope at $29 that it actually looks good, but we’ll see. I’ll probably remove the sound/vibrating box as I want this as a year round decoration. I can’t wait for everyone to see it. I just love to piss off my neighbors. Is that wrong?
You know those stupid white plastic chairs that everyone used to have out on their patios? They started out all pretty and white and then after one rain storm you ended up with a dirt puddle on the seat that was impossible to get clean. The next year you’d buy some more, since they were so cheap, and it would happen again. Year after year you’d do this until it finally got through your thick skull that they were crap. They even tried making them in dark green and other colors thinking that would hide the dirt puddle, but no still gross. A reader sent me the link to this awesome plastic Skull Chair. It’s actual name is “Souviens Toi Que Tu Vas Mourir” (Remember That You Will Die). Not sure how it gets that name. It appears to be a twist on the old crappy plastic chairs. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I looked they do not seem to be for sale or not yet anyway. I would actually buy this, but it would stay nicely inside where no dirt puddles could ever ruin it. I have a feeling this little guy is going to be expensive if it ever hits the market, so I’m not holding my breath. Anyway, this Skull Chair is going to be a part of “New Wave, the new French domestic landscape” exhibition in the furniture fair in Milan at the Nouvelle Vague at the French Cultural Centrer – Palazzo Delle Stelline – Corso Magento 63 20123 Milan on 12 to 17 April 2011.
*Thanks Scott for the link!
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black,
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sneakers,
snow — jane @ 12:51 am
Anyone who has a child knows that shopping for new clothes and shoes is a monthly practice. I absolutely hate shopping in stores, but I also can’t have my child looking like she’s getting ready for a flood. Scary daughter will be 9 years old soon and I swear if I stare long enough I can actually watch her grow. She’s a bloody weed! If she doesn’t grow out of them then she destroys them on the playground. She’s very athletic, so she’s always playing some sport and ripping her jeans during recess. Anyway, I could complain about that all day, but there is a reason I brought it up. I went to Target today to replenish her jean supply and sneakers. Keep in mind, shopping is pure torture for me. I want to be at home in my PJs and zombie slippers in front of my computer when I shop, not dealing with mothers who don’t control their brats. There was actually some demented child there that kept blowing his whistle. Of course his mom was oblivious to it and seemed to purposefully go wherever I went. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I finally got to the shoe department and got Scary Daughter some sneakers and started to leave. All of a sudden I saw them. They were surrounded in a halo just like in the movies. A pair of boots. But not just any pair of boots. These were black rubber boots covered in skulls! I got so excited and ran over to them only to discover that they were kids boots. No adult sizes. I was crushed. After standing and staring at them for a good 10 minutes listening to the whistling freak, I decided that Scary Daughter needed them and I would just have to live vicariously through her. Why, oh why were kid’s clothes so boring when I was a kid?
When we go home to Scary Hubby’s family for Thanksgiving Scary Daughter is usually showered with gifts. Which is okay. They don’t see her that often. On this particular trip she was given a Scorpion Sucker that an Aunt had picked up while she was in Arizona. If you would like one of your own you can find them here. As she was getting ready to open it up and take a lick we all noticed the scorpion inside. This began a rather lengthy discussion on whether it was a real scorpion or not. I insisted it was since I myself have been tricked into eating chocolate covered bugs in the past. Put chocolate on it and I’ll eat it. (Get your mind out of the gutter!) Anyway, Scary Daughter is not particularly fond of bugs and I really can’t blame her. Especially scorpions since she has heard me tell my story one too many times. When I was about 10 years old I lived in Dallas, Texas. We lived in a brand new house by what could loosely be called a lake. There were no other homes around us, so I guess the wildlife decided we were a great place to hang out. We tried everything to get rid of the field mice, snakes, spiders and bugs. We even had these huge jumping tarantula like spiders. Scorpions, unfortunately, often found their way into our house. One particular night my Dad had sent me into his room to get something for him. I didn’t bother turning on the light since I knew where it was. As I was walking I felt like I stepped on a small pin or something. I turned on the bedside lamp and as I was looking at my foot saw the rather large scorpion about a foot away from me. I started screaming bloody murder. They rushed me to the hospital and luckily I was not allergic to the venom. It hurt like hell though and lasted for days. I will never forget that pain. So, after having heard the story before, Scary Daughter was not ever going to try it and gave it to me. She then said that I could pretend it was the one that stung me and now I could have my revenge and eat it. So not going to happen.
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If you have been diligently reading my blog (you better be) you would know that I just love to piss off my neighbors. I know, not very neighborly, but oh so much fun. Besides, it seems like it has become sort of a running joke in the neighborhood. What will Jane do next? Most of them get a good laugh out of it since we do take good care of our yard, but there are a few that are not so thrilled. That’s mainly why I do it. If they laughed and enjoyed it I’d get bored.
