A reader sent this in to me and I just had to share. 13th Street is a crime/horror station in Germany. Jacques Pense from the advertising agency Jung von Matt in Germany came up with this fantastic Zombie Stationary. I would like to see this in person. It seems to be very 3D. I absolutely love this and want it desperately. Unfortunately it seems that it is not available for sale since it’s their business stationary. Maybe I can think of some reason to write them and ask a question so they would write me back.
A while back I found these Coffin Boxes and used them as gift bags for a party I had. I have used them since for many things, but I recently remembered a time from my childhood when I could have used them. As a child I hated Barbies and I still do. I kept getting them as gifts and would then find new and interesting ways to destroy them. Little Scary Jane soon found herself in a dilemma. How to hide the dead bodies from her parents when they were the ones who insisted she should like Barbies, like her sister. I had been piling them up in shoeboxes, but I needed a more permanent solution. Being the odd child I was I decided I needed to at least give them a proper burial. What do you do when you have a bunch of dead Barbies to bury? At that time cool little Coffin Boxes were not available to me, so I tried to make my own to hold them, without much luck. I ended up burying them without boxes in the backyard. So, take it from me, if you have a Scary child of your own please don’t try to make them play with Barbies. They’ll just find ways to torture the poor things like I did. If you do at least have the decency to get them some of these Coffin Boxes. If you buy them in bulk you can even save money.
I know you guys will read this and start complaining that Christmas is over, but this little project can be adapted for any holiday, so just shut up and read. On Christmas Day a reader named Sara sent me an email with a picture attached. The picture was of a pile of gifts that had been wrapped in the coolest creepy wrapping paper I have ever seen. I then found out her husband actually hand made it. Apparently Sara is a huge fan of the presents in the Haunted Mansion when it’s all done up for the holidays like The Nightmare Before Christmas. Ryan, her husband, took it upon himself to try and recreate the feeling and what you see at the right is the beautiful paper he came up with. All he did was buy some plain blood red wrapping paper and then draw webs on it with a black Sharpie. Tie it up with some black ribbon and you have an all occasion wrapping paper. How cheap and easy is that? I realize not everyone is an artist, but if you search around online there are many drawings available to inspire you and copy. If, however, you are as lazy as I have always suspected you are, you can click here and see a great example. Now you have no excuse to keep bugging me about the lack of good paper out there. You can just make it yourself!
*Thank you so much to Ryan Bray for creating this and Sara Bray for sharing it!
Went out for some dinner tonight at a chinese restaurant that I haven’t been to in ages. Now they have a whole sushi bar, which I find pretty amusing in a chinese place. Anyway, I ordered my usual Orange Chicken and an interesting appetizer called Zombie Brain. I kid you not. It was basically half an avocado mixed with tuna. It was absolutely delicious, but I don’t get the reference. It didn’t look at all like any zombie brains I’ve ever fed on and it certainly didn’t taste that way. I forgot to take a picture of the actual plate, but here’s the picture from the menu. So, whenever I get a hankering for a Zombie Brain I’m still going to have to find one the old fashioned way, but this one will do in a pinch.
We all love Christmas right? And who doesn’t like hearing the Night Before Christmas? I’ve always thought it was a little sappy, so last year I decided to rewrite it. Click here to see Scary Jane’s take on that old classic.
Are you like me and have money to throw away? No? Well, I don’t actually either. I’d like to though. If I did I would probably buy this Christmas decoration. It’s called Ghost Bust Fright Before Christmas and is sold by Hauntedprops.com for… drumroll please… $1,499.00! Basically it is a life-size bust that comes with a small projector and a DVD. The DVD is played on a DVD player (not provided) and projected onto the bust to make it look like it’s actually moving. You can also purchase something called a Control Freak Media Monster. This will allow it to be set off by a mat or motion sensor. It also includes the DVD player and costs another $259.77. Not sure why the 77 cents is necessary. If you still don’t feel that you’ve spent enough money you can buy a Blaster that blows a burst of air at you as you walk by for $140.00. It does look pretty cool, but I don’t see myself spending that much money on a Christmas prop. Check out the video, maybe you’ll find that it’s worth it.
Could this be a post about Scary Jane? The Scary Jane? Nope, it’s not, but it is about the blog. Are you tired of checking the site every 5 minutes to see if I’ve posted something yet? I get regular emails from some of you idiots complaining that I do not post on a regular schedule. I patiently tell you that my mother died unexpectedly this year which turned my world upside down. I stopped working for a while to concentrate on my family, but I am feeling much better these days. My book business came first, since that’s where the money comes from, and now I’m back at the blogging thing posting regularly. Unfortunately, there is no set time of the day that I do it. Usually it’s late in the day, like now, but it can be anytime really. Well, I have finally solved your problem. Scary Jane now has a Newsletter! Every Friday an email will be automatically sent, to those who subscribe, that will include all of my posts for the week. Don’t worry I won’t sell your email or send you spam. I wouldn’t even know how to. I do reserve the right to sell your soul, however. You can subscribe by entering your email in the box that’s below my image on the top left of your screen. So, if you’ve ever dreamed of being underneath me here’s your chance!
Years ago when I was in college, in the San Francisco area, there was a very cool nightclub that I practically lived in. To me, it was perfect. It was as if it was designed just for me. Of course all of the other people that went there probably thought the same thing. If I remember correctly it was basically just a big square warehouse, but inside was this amazing space. There were heavy red and black velvet curtains everywhere that created these wonderful intimate spaces. There was no large open dance floor. You would just walk from room to room and socialize with people sitting on the purple velvet couches listening to music. Every room was a little different and it made it feel like you were in your own really cool apartment. The music was great and the punk/goth vibe was just amazing. Goth culture wasn’t really a big thing yet, but it had that feeling. Odd things hung on the velvet walls and from the ceiling. There were so many things to look at. Nothing was normal there. I loved it! In one of the many alcoves hung an upside down Christmas tree painted black and decorated with weird doll parts and broken ornaments. I loved that tree and liked to sit below and look at it. I vowed that one day I would hang my tree upside down. So far, I have not done this. I think mainly because I am quite traditional when it comes to the holidays. I may use a lot of black and blue in my decorating, but the way I celebrate has always been more traditional. This was a horrible year and it will be our family’s first Christmas without my Mom, so I’m not really into it like I usually am. I’ve been doing things very different so far and I think it’s time to finally try the upside down tree. I know you can buy stupid fake trees that are made to be upside down, but I don’t want that. I want to take our actual tree and hang it upside down from the ceiling. Scary Hubby seems to be concerned about how to do this, but he always figures these things out. He’s used to finding ways to execute my weird ideas. I know I am by no means the first to do this, so if anyone has any tips they would like to pass along…
When we go home to Scary Hubby’s family for Thanksgiving Scary Daughter is usually showered with gifts. Which is okay. They don’t see her that often. On this particular trip she was given a Scorpion Sucker that an Aunt had picked up while she was in Arizona. If you would like one of your own you can find them here. As she was getting ready to open it up and take a lick we all noticed the scorpion inside. This began a rather lengthy discussion on whether it was a real scorpion or not. I insisted it was since I myself have been tricked into eating chocolate covered bugs in the past. Put chocolate on it and I’ll eat it. (Get your mind out of the gutter!) Anyway, Scary Daughter is not particularly fond of bugs and I really can’t blame her. Especially scorpions since she has heard me tell my story one too many times. When I was about 10 years old I lived in Dallas, Texas. We lived in a brand new house by what could loosely be called a lake. There were no other homes around us, so I guess the wildlife decided we were a great place to hang out. We tried everything to get rid of the field mice, snakes, spiders and bugs. We even had these huge jumping tarantula like spiders. Scorpions, unfortunately, often found their way into our house. One particular night my Dad had sent me into his room to get something for him. I didn’t bother turning on the light since I knew where it was. As I was walking I felt like I stepped on a small pin or something. I turned on the bedside lamp and as I was looking at my foot saw the rather large scorpion about a foot away from me. I started screaming bloody murder. They rushed me to the hospital and luckily I was not allergic to the venom. It hurt like hell though and lasted for days. I will never forget that pain. So, after having heard the story before, Scary Daughter was not ever going to try it and gave it to me. She then said that I could pretend it was the one that stung me and now I could have my revenge and eat it. So not going to happen.
Now that we are getting down to the wire on Halloween I want to pass on some things that you can do to spook up your crib a little more. A lot of the stores are running out of things and so is your wallet, so it’s a good time to get the creativity juices flowing. Every year we try to add a new thing to our house for Halloween. Up until now we have always had a 6′ spider web hanging up on our porch with a big spider on it. This year I got a bee up my butt and decided that wasn’t enough. I started looking online for anyone who had built a giant spider web. I’m talking about a 20′+ spider web and that means the actual spider web being 20′+ not counting the attaching ropes. While I did find some good tutorials none of them were quite as big as I want it. I want it stretched from the roof of my porch and across the lawn to attach to some trees on the other side of the sidewalk. Scary Hubby always rolls his eyes when I come up with these ideas, but he happily goes along. We have had some new people move in around the neighborhood who have sworn to beat us at the Best Decorated House competition and I can not allow that to happen.We never unveil our decorations until the day of Halloween. We want people to see it for the first time on Halloween night to get the maximum scare. Anyway, while the tutorials weren’t for big enough spiderwebs, I figured I would just use the same technique with more rope. I bought 600′ of white nylon clothing line. I figured the cotton would deteriorate over time since it is usually snowing or raining here on Halloween. Most of the people online that had done it, built it in place. Since we don’t like people to know what we are doing in advance we can’t really build it on the spot. So, our back yard will have to do. I thought we would just do it on the lawn (yeah, I know what you’re thinking dickhead) but Scary Hubby just had the idea of stretching it between the fences. That way there’s no bending over (I still know). Now you could just go the easy route and buy the mega one shown here from the Spider Web Man for $149.95, but I’m not willing to do that when I can build it for $20 and have it exactly the way I want. Of course, if you are the dickhead I think you are you’ll probably buy it. I’ll post some pics when we build it.
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A reader sent this in to me and I just had to share. 13th Street is a crime/horror station in Germany. Jacques Pense from the advertising agency Jung von Matt in Germany came up with this fantastic Zombie Stationary. I would like to see this in person. It seems to be very 3D. I absolutely love this and want it desperately. Unfortunately it seems that it is not available for sale since it’s their business stationary. Maybe I can think of some reason to write them and ask a question so they would write me back.
