I found this Friends Help You Move…Real Friends Help You Move Bodies! T-Shirt and it made me laugh so hard that I ordered one immediately. I feel like I may have seen it before, but I love it! And how true it is. I just moved into a new house a few months ago and finding help was next to impossible. We had to offer up unlimited beer and pizza and still had to get some backup from a moving company. Now mind you we didn’t ask people that we hadn’t helped move in the past, so I figure we were owed. Apparently not. Anyway, what would happen if I asked one of these people to move one of the many bodies I have lying around? I’ve collected quite a few in the basement and I need to start getting rid of them. I plan to wear my t-shirt when I ask them and point out the word Real and then they’ll have to help, right? Who would say no after that?

OMG! I just came across this great Zombie Pin-up calendar that I can’t live without in 2010. Apparently they have been making it for a few years now. How could I have missed this? Ever since I saw Zombieland a few weeks ago I’ve been obsessed with all things zombies. It may be pics of girl zombies, but who cares? It’s absolutely hilarious. I just hope that next time my car is in the shop getting an oil change I see this calendar on the wall instead of the ususal boring bimbos.

I am not in general a huge tattoo kinda girl. I like one or two on a person, but that’s about it. I do come across interesting ones now and then however. This one was sent in to me by 9021hell and I thought I’d share. Apparently he found it online. I have no idea where it came from or who’s tattoo it is, so I’ll let it stand on it’s own. You have to admit it’s pretty cool. Plus, since I’m pretty sick today (not the swine flu people) I thought this would be an easy post.

Where’s my bloody tea? Now when some Brit in a castle yells that out to a servant they can bring them their Bloody Tea set. Seriously. Wouldn’t that be cool for a servant to bring to some mean boss. Actually, if the servant was really upset with him they could bring a plain white tea set and a sharp knife and make their own. Since this does cost $500 that might be the cheaper choice. How many servants can afford to drop that much money on something to scare their boss with. Of course then you have to hide the evidence and make sure no other servants saw you. Then there is the matter of the police and of course they will eventually figure out that it was you, because everyone knows the butler did it. Best just to forget it. In the end it was just fun to think about, but not worth the jail time. Maybe just stick with putting hot sauce in his tea or something.

A reader directed me to this Black Feather Chair and I just had to share it with you. It is so deliciously creepy. This was designed by Elyse Hochstadt back in 2007 and was featured at FIVEten Studio. The actual name of the chair is Portrait of George 1. I covet this chair and I must have it. I’m sure the $7500 price tag is a misprint, right? I’m sure they left out the period and it’s really $75. I’m going to get on a plane, march right on over to the studio in Oakland, California and slap down my $75! They better give it to me too, because clearly it was made with me in mind. Just think… a chair designed just for me. How lovely. Now if only I can scrape the money together for a plane ticket.

Thanks Doomsday For the link.

Okay I’m not sure how I feel about this. Wal-Mart now carries coffins and urns for all of your funeral needs. I mean I guess it’s okay, just weird. Now when you search on urns you get funeral urns mixed in with the coffee urns. Kinda creepy. When it comes time to bury Great Uncle Mort you can now go down to your neighborhood Wal-Mart and pick up your coffin. Well, actually you can’t. You can only order them online, but still the image is there. It makes me think of the Target lady on SNL. If you haven’t seen Kristen Wiig play her it’s really funny. The Target lady is a Target cashier who is very excitable and covets everything people are buying in a very shrill voice. She then frequently disappears during the transaction to get one of her own. What would she do if someone checked out with a coffin in their cart? Anyway, Wal-Mart is offering them for $895 to $2,899, so it’s pretty cheap compared to the thousands of dollars that coffins usually cost. Still weird, though. Coffin price check in aisle 9!

It’s T-Shirt Tuesday! I know the Skeleton Bra T-shirt has been around for a long time, but it’s still worth talking about. It makes me giggle whenever I see it. I mean guys wouldn’t understand this, but at times your boobs can feel very heavy. The thought that someone could come along and hold them up for you is very appealing, though I wouldn’t imagine a skeleton hand being very comfortable. It does bring to mind the famous Rolling Stone cover from 1993 of Janet Jackson. The one where someone was covering up her breasts from behind. Not really a fan of hers, but it was a great photo. I probably would like her more if she had just worn the t-shirt. I love that shirt.

While I was covering all of the goodies during the month of October I found lots of cool things online to post about. Unfortunately, I had to save them until October was done. Now that November is in full swing I can let loose. First off we have the Blood Powered Lamp. Yup, that’s what I said. A lamp powered by your own blood. Well, you could use anyone’s blood actually, if you have some lying around. What a ghoulish idea, right? I’d like to think it was a spooky idea that some vampire had, but unfortunately no. Mike Thompson, an English designer from The Netherlands had a completely different purpose in mind. “What if, every time you wanted to switch on a light, you had to bleed? Would you think twice before illuminating the room, and in turn, using up energy?” In other words would we think differently about using up energy if it cost us something valuable each time. Interesting idea, huh? The lamp contains luminol. Luminol is the chemical forensic scientists use to check for traces of blood at a crime scene. Luminol reacts with the iron in blood and creates a bright blue glow. To use the lamp, you have to break the glass, cut yourself, and drip blood into the opening along with some activating powder. Unfortunately, each lamp can only be used once. Might make you rethink how much energy you use. Unless, of course, you have a supply of extra blood collected from your victims lying around.

Well, after spending the last month searching for the best Halloween decorations, recipes, costumes, decorating my new house and watching movies here are my thoughts. LAME! Okay not totally lame, but not as good as in years past. My biggest gripe was Halloween decor or the lack there of. Every Halloween I have spent hundreds of dollars on new decorations for the store and for the house that I could not live without. This year I spent $19.00 and that was just for spiderwebs, candles and misc. crap. WTF?! My thoughts are that with the bad economy they just didn’t really come out with anything new and scaled back on some of the more pricey items. My favorite has always been animatronics. I love things that move and say things. The ones they had this year were cheap looking and weren’t all that scary frankly.  Costumes were pretty lame as well. I wanted to post the scariest costume of the year, but I really didn’t see anything that was worth even a wimper. Some of the bad costumes that were popular, like Micheal Jackson and Octomom, were just in bad taste and stupid. Decorating our new house was great and everything worked better than we had hoped. We even got voted as the scariest house in the neighborhood, but there were a few that were really close. We’ll have to step it up a bit next year. Movie selection in the theaters was not even worth discussing, though rarely is it. All I can say is I really hope next year the economy is back on track and decorations are plentiful. This is my favorite time of the year and I found it depressing to go into stores that normally have huge Halloween displays and only had pitifully small racks of cheesy decor. Just my two cents.