Have you ever had some guests that you just can’t get rid of? It started out that it would just be a night or two until they found a new place. You were trying to be nice. Helping out a friend. We’ve all been there. Now they’ve been there for days, weeks, maybe even months. They are starting to look like they’ll never leave. Well, here’s something you can do to maybe hurry them along. While they are sleeping on your couch until two in the afternoon go out and buy a new shower curtain. Not just any old shower curtain, but this Psycho Shower Curtain. Hang it so “Mother” is facing inside. That way when they finally get up and get around to showering they’ll get the crap scared out of them when they close the curtain. Now of course you can’t stop there. Start playing nasty tricks on them every day. Soon they’ll be dying to get out of your house!

Remember that time when you were out in that field late at night? You were finally getting it on with [insert lastest person of interest here]. You saw the bright lights, you were both scared. The aliens took you away, did their probing and without a thank you dropped you back in the middle of that field. You tried to report it, but no one believed you. You lost all your friends. You were ridiculed in public. This forced you to spend more and more time holed up in your house eating Doritos. Then one day you are poking around online and find this little guy. Finally it is time for your revenge. You can have this guy serve you drinks, those Doritos you can’t live without or anything you desire. And if you are feeling a little bit vengeful maybe a little probing to show him how it feels.

Need a new doormat? Like to scare off those pesky neighbors that insist on knocking on your door? This might do. This obviously conjures up memories of a certain butler that we all know and love named Lurch. I am a huge fan of The Addams Family and love everything related to it. Mentioning Lurch though, brings up a beef of mine. Loved the TV show and loved the movies. Well the first two anyway. I thought their casting was incredible except the character of Lurch. The original TV version played by Ted Cassidy was phenomenal. I felt that the movie version played by Carel Struycken just didn’t do Lurch justice. I realize this is a very difficult character to cast and I don’t know who could have done better, but I thought it was the weak link in the movie version. Anyway, buy the doormat. Maybe people won’t dare to ring your doorbell for fear of Lurch answering.

Now that we are getting close to Halloween I’m getting very excited along with a bunch of other people I’m sure. I was thinking that I needed something to serve libations in during my annual Halloween party since last year my old one broke. You know those crazy costumes always have too many things hanging from them that can knock over your breakables. Or is it that there were too many drunk people? Well, either way Jane needs a new one. I started looking around and found lots of unusual ones. I love the Ralph Lauren, but I don’t think I want to risk an innebriated Elvira breaking a decanter that costs $495! I think I have settled on this skull decanter, which is much less expensive, but really cool. Now come Halloween I can say, “Argh you skallywags come aboard and have some grog!”

Today is T-Shirt Tuesday and I have a very important t-shirt to present to all of you. Why Can’t Vampires & Werewolves Just Get Along? is an age old question that must be openly discussed. To trace their history is a long and difficult process. There were recently a series of three documentaries that addressed this very issue called Underworld that I suggest you see. They were brilliantly produced. The movies portrayed a very realistic view of what has gone on between the werewolves and vampires since the beginning. Unfortunately they do not offer any answer to the problem, but maybe by watching we can all gain a better understanding of why. Show your support against this awful war and maybe if enough of us wear it we can end it once and for all.

Well, technically it’s called a Sensory Deprivation Skull. This was designed back in 2007 by artist Joep van Lieshout for his studio Atelier Van Lieshout. This is the same guy that designed the Skull Sauna I covered a while back. Seems he really likes to design big skulls. This one opens up to reveal a seating area. No word on whether the comfy lining is included or the cost. The skull is made of reinforced fiberglass and measures approximately 59″ x 43″ x 54″. Only 10 were made, so good luck if you have your heart set on one. Just think: you could curl up in it and read your favorite mystery or you could also get in and close the doors for the ultimate getaway from all of your troubles. Why bother taking a relaxing vacation? You can save all of that money and hole up inside this for a week. So what if you go a little crazy feeling like you might actually be inside John Malkovich’s head?

Shiver me timbers! Here’s a fun little way to get some skulls into your life that’s not so expensive. Bone Chillers Ice Cube Trays made by Fred can be had for only $6. Each tray makes four skulls and four crossbones. It’s made from pure food grade silicone, so it’s easy-to-bend and get your ice out. It’s dishwasher safe too. Just fill it up, put in the freezer and you’ll be chilling your drinks to the bone in no time! Drink up, me hearties!

Today I have something that’s not exactly scary, but a little more fun and clever. Not everything in life needs to be scary. I like things that make me laugh, too. I have a bathroom in my house where the walls are filled with things to make you laugh. I lose guests for hours in there. I found this great Toilet Decal that I might just have to add to that. There is a company called HU2 Designs based in Great Britain that makes vinyl decals. Not just any old stickers, but ones made for your walls, floors, toilets, appliances etc. They run about $25 to $100 depending on size and details and will ship anywhere in the world. I particularly love the monster ones. They have a toilet monster and wall monsters as well, but according to the website they can be applied to any smooth surface, except wallpaper, so let your imagination run wild and have some fun.

Next time you’re taking a bite out of someone’s neck you might want to think about saving some of that blood. This Blood Vial Necklace could save you some trouble later. Say you’re going about your vampire business and just not finding anyone attractive to bite into. You’re starting to get a little peckish. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that you have a little blood around your neck to hold off the hunger until you do find someone worth drinking?

You can also use this necklace to profess your love to a significant other. Remember when Billy Bob and Big Lips Magoo were married for a brief time and famously exchanged blood vials? Well, now you can be like them and do the same thing. I can’t say I want to be anything like them and have no desire to swap blood with my husband, but to each their own. It even comes in a little coffin shaped gift box. How cute is that?

Remember the movie Clue? One of my absolute favorite movies. I think I can recite every line. Remember that part where they decide to split up and search for the killer? Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlet end up going through that secret passage from the study to the kitchen. I loved that. Who hasn’t dreamed of having a secret passage like that? Or even better actually finding one in your house that you never knew was there. Now, if you have between $5000 and $250,000, you can realize that dream depending on how crazy you want to get. To the right are some examples of what Creative Home Engineering can do for you. The staircase one reminds me of the opening to the Munsters where Herman Munster came out from under the stairs. If you don’t remember that you can see it here. Just remember next time you are in bed trying to sleep and you hear a sound that seems to be coming from inside the walls you may have your very own secret passage. The downside? Someone might be in it!