I know you may have seen this t-shirt and may even own it. Great, now go away. I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the newbie scarys out there. Someone does have to guide them in the ways of all things dark after all. If you are new to the whole dark side of life you need to buy this t-shirt: Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies. We want more people to come to the dark side, but we don’t want just anyone, so be careful. Don’t wear this when you have a smile on your face. The dark side does not wish to lure happy people. This is a great t-shirt to show that you are a member, just don’t expect to get the keys to the dark side just because you’re wearing it.

So, ever wonder what brought Jane to the Dark Side? Well, even if you didn’t I’m going to share anyway. It seems I have liked all things scary my whole life, but it really started when I was still little Jane. I believe the year was 1983. MTV was all the rage and I loved it. One day after school when I was watching MTV this amazing video came on called Don’t Pay The Ferryman by Chris De Burgh. I was transfixed. It was creepy, spooky and it didn’t hurt that the guy was cute. Hey it was the 80s give me a break. To my young eyes it was a world that I had never seen before and I wanted to be in it. I had loved Scooby Doo for years, and still do, but this was better. Now, unlike some of you, I have never been into the gorey side of life. Gorey is not scary to me. I like scary and this was it for me. Some might say that I am Goth. I think I was too early for that, at least what we know of as Goth today. The Goth culture started in the US in the early 80s, but it is not what we consider Goth to be now. I like scary better anyhow and I believe it all started with this video. So check it out.

In reference to my earlier post today about vampires, I found this dramatic Red & Black Flocked Comforter Set. Now I know some of you are thinking “What’s the connection to vampires?” Well, my dimwitted friend, I’ll tell you.  Picture Bella rolling around on the bed with Edward. Or, Sookie with Bill. Or, Buffy with Angel or Spike. Lets say, [insert favorite vampire here] gets carried away while kissing her neck and takes a bite out of [insert favorite heroine here]. As the blood rolls down her neck wouldn’t it be nice for her to know that it would blend right into the beautiful new comforter and not ruin it? For just $79.63 any one of those heroins or even you could have that peace of mind and plus can you imagine how gorgeous it would be with some black sheets?

Being a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all things vampire in general, I always keep my eyes out for anything vampire related. I came across this great article in Newsweek about people’s obsession with vampires that you just have to check out.

“Bite Me! Why We Love Vampires”

Back in the late 60s Topps Chewing Gum, the same company that produced the baseball cards, released a line of trading cards called Wacky Packages. Actually most of them were stickers. The cards spoofed well-known brands and packaging. They ran for about 2 years and then started again in the 70s and have since been released on and off over the years. I do have a faint memory of them from when I was a kid, but not during the initial run. Apparently they are very collectible now. Especially the early ones. There is even a coffee table book called “Wacky Packages” out now that pays tribute to them.

I know you are probably saying, “But Jane, what is so scary about that?”. Well, I spend a lot of time on the internet looking for things for this blog and I came across this and had to share. It’s Scary Jane candy! At first I thought it was real candy, but then after some research found the history of Wacky Packages. I wish they actually made this. I would have so many uses for it. I could use it as my business card or give it away as prizes on the website. Oh well, I will continue to dream of what might have been…

I know that you are probably like me and just throw your clothes into the air when you change and could care less where they land. We justify our messiness by declaring that it’s part of our scaryness and that we are creative people who don’t need to worry about such trivial things. Well, lets face it. We are slobs. Of course we never had anywhere cool to put them, so why bother. All that’s really available are pastel colored plastic tubs and wicker baskets which may be perfect for the J.Crew drones, but certainly will not do for the scary minded. Now you sloppy people, myself included, have somewhere to throw our dirty clothes. Check out this Black Brocade Hamper for $19.95. I just love it! Promise me though, just because we start throwing our clothes into a hamper does not mean we have to start shopping at J. Crew.

Have you always been jealous of Gomez & Morticia Addams? Ever wished you had Thing in your house? Now you can… well sort of anyway. These Hand Hooks by Harry Allen are made from a cast of the designer’s own hand. There are 5 different styles available. They don’t come cheap at $85.00 each, but wouldn’t it be cool to have one hanging on your wall the next time your back itches? Now, I know what you’re thinking, I can just get my spouse/partner to scratch my back when needed. Will they also stand still and hold your coat all day? What about your keys? I don’t think so. These are a much better solution. If you are still balking at the price there are cheaper ones available here. Not designed by Harry Allen, but just as creepy.

Hey gargoyle freak! Yes, I’m talking to you. Do you collect gargoyles? Is your cubicle at work all decked out with gargoyles? You have your gargoyle pictures, your statues, the picture you took of a gargoyle when you were in England pinned to your bulletin board, your mousepad and screensaver, the gargoyle hat someone bought for you hanging from the corner of your cubicle, but do you have one sitting on top of your computer looking at you as you read this? If you do then do you have this little Computer Gargoyle? Listen I’m here for you. I was just in England and took that same photo. I understand your obsession. Don’t you need to give in one more time for this one? If the top of your computer is full you could always hang him over the side of your cubicle. He’s just 4 1/2″ tall and costs $9.99, so he won’t take up too much space in your office or your wallet. Just think about how much that would piss off the “Hello Kitty” freak in the next cubicle.

About a year ago I found these pictures on the internet and I finally decided to find out where they came from. In a book called “Why Paint Cats” by Heather Busch and Burton Silver they attempt to show that you can paint cats. Really? Is that even a good idea? I thought it might be a hoax and after much research I found that this book is meant to be a spoof and that all of the photos were manipulated.  Wouldn’t you be taking your life into your own hands if you even attempted to try this? I don’t know about your cats, but my cats would claw my eyes out if I ever tried to do that, which I wouldn’t. Now keep in mind this is meant to be an art book of sorts and not a “how to”.  Looking at the book the pictures are amazing and somewhat disturbing, but it does make one wonder how safe it would be if you were to try it. Most importantly why would you do this to your poor little kitty? I have to admit though, that the skeleton kitty is pretty cool. I just wish my cat’s fur naturally looked like that.

Being a lover of all things tacky and especially all things scary I found the perfect item that makes my heart sing and my wallet quiver in anticipation: Skeleton Flamingos. They are fantastic for putting up during Halloween or if you’re like me having them up all year round. Now be prepared you may not make some of your neighbors happy when they see these two guys standing up in your garden on Easter Sunday, but who cares. They are made of heavy duty plastic and stand about 22″ tall so there is no way they will miss them. At $17.95 a pair how about buying lots of them and covering your lawn with a whole bony flock?